Mistakes, Anyone?

Today it's raining in Arizona. That always puts people in a grumpy mood. It fits todays blog about forgiving myself. I have a quick disclaimer that I am pouring my heart and being real with people. If you don't like that about my blog then you probably should read today. Not trying to be rude peeps, but this is something that has been on my heart for a while. I just got the courage to write it thanks to Megan at Here's to you Mrs Robinson.

She wrote a blog about forgiving yourself. When I was reading this I felt like Megan was talking to me. So many of things she regrets are things that I regret. I have wrote and called many people on forgiving me. Most say that they have but I really feel that why should they. I'm a horrible person. I shouldn't been so hard on yourself but I am. We all make mistakes. Her first paragraph is so me. IN EVERY WAY!! 

i am extremely hard on myself

extremely hard on myself.

i beat myself up for every little thing. 

i beat myself up for things that happened years and years ago!

I can rethink of every situation and dissect every sentence to make it feel like someone is mad at me or even hates me. Like Megan I think about mistakes more than anyone ever should. Every mistake paralyzes me and I overreact. I try so hard not to make mistakes and to be "so perfect" that I made more mistakes. Or I don't ask questions because I don't want to be a bother. 

Here are a few of my regrets:

I regret how I treated people before I left for Iowa in high school

I regret how I treated my brother during his wedding

I regret not being closer to my sister in laws

I regret my relationship with my mom

I regret how I treated my best friend in high school

I regret how I ended things with my first internship/job

I regret not being myself and being who others want me to be

 

The list could go on and on, but I don't want to be living in the past. I want to work towards the future and everything that it has to offer.